Saturday 14 May 2011

MOVED

I have moved and will move again.


This is to resemble moving. Jpegerific. Whatever happened to terrible clipart, the ones that you could buy from poundstretcher promising 1000's of pictures of badly drawn day to day objects. Those CDs made my childhood, you could buy them cheap along with discount copies of Dogz 3. Whatever happened to Dogz 3? Well they just made Dogz 4. Simple enough.





GØD DAG!!

Or should I say

GOOD DAY!!

Sat in Haugesund not particularly doing an awful lot, Rikkie is working the days and tilling so it gives me enough time to fill in the blanks of what has happened over the last few months et al. "It's been quite eventful" as a historian might say about the industrial revolution, "a lot has happened". One such thing would be the royal wedding, but unfortunately that would have no relevence in my life whatsoever but as a point of reference for what is happening in the world; there you go. Firstly I have moved. As if Manchester wasn't enough I have upped and relocated to the closer to hometown joy that is Leeds. There are benefits to this, I know Leeds well, it has various pub I like to frequent. I know people in Leeds, I can see Arnold Bray and Ronnie the Rhino more than once a year, however Leeds lacks one thing that really would help in life.



Werk. As per usual. The problem here being that Rikkie cannot find work and I'm still in bank job, which is fine if I'm content with spending my life in the darkest corner of a back office looking at something which closely resembles a mixture of the matrix code and a haunted spreadsheet. So away I go looking. In Olso.

So Rikkie has now got work. In Oslo. Oslo is better than most of England. So I did the maths. Olso>Leeds. There we go, maths away. So from this I've decided to try and get out of England. 45% because of David Cameron too. And his massive forehead. But plans in motion and all let's not dwell over careers and all the joys, let me describe some commuters like I used to.


The all new professionals- These are two lads, about my age who catch the train at the same time every day. They are the perfect bridge between what can be described as "the younger generation" and "old cuntish businessmen". But these aren't too bad. Same cannot be said for...

Dance music Businessman- Dance music businessman must have been into rave during the eighties. He looks borderline last of the summer wine material and listens to the most lo-fi dance music through earphones which must make more noise outside than inside the ear. It strikes me as strange that such an smartly dressed man can listen to such modern shit.

The soggy boy- College goer who seldom appear on the train, I'm undecided whether his long hair has wet or unwashed. Looks like an explosion in a gaudy factory. Wears clothes with silver on. Annoys me, but only through the jealously that I can no longer dress like a train wreak anymore.

And lastly...

The rival boots man- On commuter trains there is usually little room to sit, especially since Guiseley is the last stop before the city. This makes standing places highly sought after, each carriage has 4 leaning bars near to the train doors. We both run for these, in the land of the blind, the leaning bar man is king. Each morning on the platform we position ourselves to near where to door stops so that we can sieze these places as soon as possible. As he wears large boots.




Devil looks pretty male to me.

Kind regards,


Tom.

PS; will proof read later when I give two shits.


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